There is a very fine line that exists between what is considered “normal” and “abnormal” in the realm of human sexuality. Most of the these constructs are devised by societal norms of the time; however, there is one category of sexual practice that has lingered in the shadows for quite some time which is collectively known as BDSM, or Bondage and Domination/Dominance and Submission/Sadism and Masochism. This category tends to encompass most practices that do not fall into your typical sexual experience and are often geared towards intense role play, domination or the infliction or reception of painful experiences. The question of whether or not BDSM is a healthy form of sexual expression definitely more complex than I had originally anticipated because of the many layers of the BDSM lifestyle.

 

When researching about BDSM, I found that the most consistent and important factor that is always present is consent. Like most of the public, I did not realize that the reality of BDSM is not like it is portrayed in the media and CSI, but it is a legitimate practice among many varieties of age groups and sexual orientations. In all of the articles I found, when discussing non-pathological, consensual practices of BDSM, members of the community state that it is very important to establish clear consent, boundaries, and typically the use of a safeword (Pitagora, 2013). In a BDSM scene, the two parties are referred to as the “dominant” and the “submissive” which reflects the person’s role in the scene. A safeword is a way for the submissive to ultimately be in control the whole time and can call everything off if they feel their boundaries are being pushed (Pitagora, 2013). An article in The Telegraph talked about the importance of consent to the BDSM community saying that “with greater sexual freedom comes greater responsibility, and authentic BDSM requires the correct mindset” (Kent, 2015). This relates to the maturity that one must have when engaging in BDSM activities because the line between sexual pleasure and being taken advantage of is very fine.

 

In the past, BDSM has gotten a horrible reputation, mostly because people did not understand it. Like other sexual minorities like homosexuality and gender identity disorder, BDSM has been stigmatized for quite some time, and was even in the DSM IV and previous editions as a pathological condition until the most recent edition of the DSM was published (Pitagora, 2013). Pitagora suggests that the reason for this was that data about BDSM was taken only from extreme clinical cases and not from non-pathological practitioners, so the only information they had was then generalized to encompass all participants. This is why consent is so important; the same acts that are performed in a consensual environment could result in detrimental psychological and physical complications if the act is forced. Taylor and Usher state that although BDSM includes a huge variety of activities, there are four common elements of a BDSM scene which include consensuality, inequity of power, sexual arousal and compatibility. They also state that focus is often less on the physical enactment of a scene than it is on the power exchange (2001). One can definitely see where things could go very wrong if the scene is not planned out beforehand and discussed between all participants. This is where BDSM could be unhealthy, just like any other act, whether sexual or not, that is taken to the extreme, which will be discussed later on.

 

The Yes side of this argument is very well supported and strong because there are thousands of people that are practicing BDSM right now that are fully functional in every aspect of their lives, they just happen to have an uncommon taste for the source of their sexual pleasure. Even though BDSM can include the infliction or reception of painful acts or ones that may push personal boundaries, the literature offers a number of benefits to practicing BDSM. As previously mentioned, there is greater sexual freedom in BDSM than in more typical forms of sexual expression, so one must be confident and self-aware when practicing BDSM (Pitagora, 2013). As a result, BDSM can further self-awareness and self-esteem because one really has to think about their boundaries and where they can be pushed, as well as what they truly enjoy when it comes to sexual arousal, in order to have a successful experience. This is also a way to organize and find meaning in sexual interaction through the formation and enactment of these sexual scripts. Another benefit that was offered is the emphasis of the power dynamic over gender and sexual orientation as neither of these pertains to which role a person can choose. Through the organization and planning of the scene, this also offers a way to bond and connect with another individual through an exchange of power (Pitagora, 2013).

 

Something that I definitely did not expect to find as far as benefits for BDSM go, or in any part of BDSM practice in general, is the inclusion of a phenomenon called aftercare. Although it is varying in intensities and manifestations, it is a regular activity of BDSM practice and it is “the process of care and attention paid to the more emotionally and physically spent participant after the scene concludes, and often includes comforting physical contact or verbal processing of the scene” (Sagarin, Cutler, Cutler, Lawler-Sagarin, Matuszewich, 2009). This also tended to result in increased intimacy between participants. This only furthers the suggestion that non-pathological BDSM practitioners closely attend to the cognitive aspect of this type of sexual expression in all phases of BDSM.

 

As was explored in the Yes side of this debate, there are many benefits to the practice of BDSM when done with full consent from both partners, with full understanding about what the role play will consist of, but what about the times when those acts are not consensual? The No side of this argument preys upon this specific part of the BDSM process in order to support the fact that the practice of BDSM can spill over into unhealthy realms. Unfortunately, most of the negative consequences that make their way into the public eye are cases of extremism and people tend to base their opinion of the entire BDSM community off of these cases. An article in Psychology Today referenced an article published by ABC News stating that a 67-year old man had lost consciousness in a sex club due to injuries that he sustained while being hung from a cross by his hands and didn’t regain consciousness for a few days because his injuries were so severe (Sweeton, 2009). While there were obvious unhealthy consequences of this action, multiple factors could have gone into why this man lost consciousness. People have even been known to die during sex once they get past a certain age, so it is not surprising that a 67-year old man would have health complications when participating in BDSM. When it comes to the negative health consequences of BDSM, this refers more so to the sadistic and masochistic practices as these are the ones that involve inflicting pain on others as well as themselves, so those that take it to an unhealthy and truly level would most likely be considered pathological. If someone is willing to push someone else’s boundaries or their own to the point of life-threatening injuries or even accidental suicide, then it has progressed past what would be considered non-pathological as that is not a functional form of sexual expression.

 

Another possible negative aspect of being a BDSM practitioner is the concealment of this uncommon preference. As has been highlighted throughout this debate, there is a lot more to a BDSM lifestyle than just the act itself. Like other sexual minorities, people who practice them have to find a way to be okay with it within themselves, as well as make sure that the people they have sexual relations with are okay with it too. Expanding even further, sex is an important part of being human, as well as being able to express oneself about ideas surrounding sex. Unfortunately for the BDSM practitioner, this can be difficult to work around, as not everyone is comfortable about the topic of BDSM or discussing it with a loved one who partakes in it. This area of BDSM, the concealment of the practice, was investigated by Stiles and Clark who conducted a number of interviews with people who identify as BDSM practitioners and asked about all aspects of the BDSM life, especially concealment. Their participants consisted of 42 women and 31 men where the age range was from 23-75 years of age, and a large percentage (40%) of them had been practicing BDSM for more than 10 years (Stiles & Clark, 2011). In their results section, they offer a number of personal accounts about the varying degrees of concealment in their lives. This included telling most of their close friends and relatives, to being “outted” by family members and then ostracized because of it and everything in between. While this may not constitute as being unhealthy in reference to the actual practice of BDSM, it is a negative consequence that practitioners have to deal with. This all points back to the fact that BDSM is still being stigmatized and the general public does not recognize it as a common or normal form of sexual expression and therefore tend to harshly judge people who openly partake in it. This forces a lot of people to be cautious when in new sexual relationships in that they don’t reveal too much too soon, or even scare friends away by mentioning it. This can definitely be psychologically detrimental.

 

When examining both sides of this argument, as far as empirical data goes, it is somewhat difficult to devise an experiment that can test whether a sexual act is healthy or not, because that question is contingent upon many subjective factors. Healthy, in this sense, could refer to emotional, psychological, and physiological health, but it can be difficult to find causal relationships between sex practices and areas of health because there are so many factors that are a part of sex. Most of the research I found included questionnaires asking members of the BDSM communities about their specific practices as well as the collection of their qualitative and quantitative responses about the emotional side of BDSM as well. While there were other journals among the BDSM literature that spoke of physiological measurements that were taken from people who were participating in BDSM acts at the time of collection and other similar data, that data is not exactly pertinent when trying to decide whether or not the act is healthy. Of course, as discussed in the No side of this debate, anything, even BDSM, can be taken too far and when participants in a BDSM scene do not adhere to everyone’s specific needs and requests, things can go awry. As far as non-pathological, consensual practice of BDSM, there was not much evidence in the literature to suggest that this is in any way harmful when both parties establish a sense of respect for each other and explicitly state consent for each act they take part in. This was a definite limitation in my research. While almost all of the articles that I found for the Yes side stated that of course things can get out of hand if the acts are not consensual, it was extremely difficult to locate a source that explicitly stated that BDSM in all manifestations was unhealthy. In looking at background information about BDSM, many people suggest that the reason it has been so stigmatized in the past is that people simply did not know that average, functional people can and do engage in this kind of sexual activity. BDSM was always highlighted by cases of extremism like rape or it was showcased as extremely violent in the media and movies, when that is not at all the case in real life. Although the academic community has come to realize that BDSM is not a pathological practice, the general public has not caught up to that realization yet.

 

Something that I had in mind when I started research for this assignment was John Stuart Mill’s Principle of Harm theory. This states that as long as an act does not hurt anyone else, then the person should be able to do it. Even though some say that their participation in BDSM acts is totally consensual, who is to say that they are not being hurt in some way, either physically or emotionally? Perhaps, in a way that they do not understand or do not even realize yet. Would that constitute as being unhealthy? This was somewhat unsettling when I first started to think about this assignment, but soon I learned that BDSM is more complicated than just the idea of harm. There are multiple layers to this lifestyle and it is much more intricate than anyone in the general public, including myself at the beginning of this research process, tends to think. Essentially, I came to the conclusion that this is definitely a healthy form of sexual expression and can offer many benefits that non-BDSM sex does not provide, like the example of aftercare, which rarely seems to make its way into “regular” sex. The possibility for BDSM to become an unhealthy practice is definitely evident because dangerous acts are performed during BDSM scenes, but as long as both parties are of sound mind and willingly consent to every action and don’t intentionally approach life threatening instances, then an individual should be able to do whatever they like in order to satisfy their kinky desires. As stated before, anything can be taken too far, especially BDSM, and when people are a part of non-consensual BDSM practices or seriously maim themselves or others, it can be labeled as a pathological condition, otherwise it is perfectly acceptable. I think it’s also interesting to point out the increased interest in BDSM practices among the general public that have been brought on by novels such as Fifty Shades of Grey that have shed a new light on the rarely seen world of BDSM practitioners. With emergences like this, I think it is safe to say that we can expect BDSM to be in the limelight again and hopefully this will bring more awareness to the practice of BDSM to where it will not be as harshly stigmatized as it has been in the past.

 

Works Cited

 

Kent, C. (2015, February 10). Fifty Shades of Grey: Is BDSM the new vanilla? Retrieved March 9, 2015, from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/11400000/Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-is-BDSM-the-new-vanilla.html

 

Pitagora, D. (2013). Consent vs Coercion: BDSM Interactions Highlight a Fine but Immutable Line. New School Psychology Bulletin, 10(1), 27-36.

 

Sagarin, B. J., Cutler, B., Cutler, N., Lawler Sagarin, K.A., & Matuszewich, L. (2009). Hormonal changes and couple bonding in consensual sadomasochistic activity. Archives Of Sexual Behavior, 38(2), 186-200. doi: 10.1007/s10508-008-9374-5

 

Stiles, B. L., & Clark, R. E. (2001). BDSM: A Subcultural Analysis of Sacrifices and Delights. Deviant Behavio, 32(2), 158-189. doi: 10.1080/01639621003748605

 

Sweeton, J. (2009, April 15). What’s dangerous about BDSM? Retrieved March 9, 2015, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-ordinary/200904/whats-dangerous-about-bdsm

 

Taylor, G. W., & Ussher, J. M. (2001). Making sense of S&M: A discourse analytic account. Sexualities, 4(3), 293-314. doi: 10.1177/136346001004003002