While there is definitely still a social stigma associated with discussing sexual expression, the social environment has begun to shift and people are freer to discuss these topics than before. BDSM has gained a lot of attention in the last few years because of a popular novel called “Fifty Shades of Grey” by E.L. James. The Fifty Shades book, especially in light of the recent movie adaptation of it, has received a lot of criticism. While I’m not sure that this story is the best example of BDSM, it’s made many people want to try it. (In fact, there have already been some instances where people have been seriously harmed or even killed because BDSM has been used incorrectly as a result of the book/movie- links to articles below this blog entry. I also think it’s worth mentioning that the book was actually originally written as fanfiction based off of another popular novel Twilight, which includes a relationship between a 104 year old vampire and a 17 year old girl, and that this relationship meets all the criteria for domestic violence). This all begs the question: Is BDSM a healthy form of sexual expression (when practiced correctly)?
First of all, what is BDSM? BDSM is an acronym for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism. The guidelines of BDSM have been defined in the study performed by Simula, from the American Sociological Association: “(1) BDSM is, by definition, consensual, and therefore distinct from abuse and violence; (2) participation in BDSM practices is not, in and of itself, indicative of pathology; and (3) BDSM is a complex social (rather than medical or psychiatric) phenomenon, deserving of serious academic study” (Simula).To practice BDSM safely, three things need to occur. You need to discuss limits and boundaries beforehand with your partner(s). This will create a respectful environment, and will prevent harm to any participants. Secondly, when toys are used, the participants need to understand how they work, how to clean them, etc. This will also prevent any harm resulting in misuse of toys. Lastly, there needs to be a discussion of a safe word. Consent is ABSOLUTELY 100% NECESSARY for ANY sex act, and a safe word allows a person to retract consent at any time if they feel uncomfortable or if they feel unsafe. It is important to show respect for the wishes or feelings of any partner(s). The BDSM community places a strong emphasis on safety and consent, which is not necessarily exhibited in the Fifty Shades trilogy and this is what leads to injuries/deaths.
Many argue that BDSM is healthy. Some, like Foucalt, who was a spokesperson for BDSM practices in the 1970’s, argue that BDSM allows people to switch up the traditional gender roles (meaning masculinity as powerful and femininity as being powerless) in a safe environment. Some find that this is empowering for all genders. Men are allowed to be submissive, and being respectful and caring for the other person is not seen as a weakness. Women, on the other hand, are allowed to be in charge and dominant, which is a role not typically enforced or encouraged in society (Simula). Hebert, a psychologist at St. Francis Xavier University, did a study analyzing the personality traits associated with BDSM, and they also asked the survey participants about the power dynamic within the relationship between the couples engaged in BDSM. According to their research, 60.2% of the people who practice BDSM that they surveyed agreed with the statement ‘‘tops/dominants/sadists and bottoms/submissives/masochists have equal power within a scene’’ (Hébert). The participants were also asked if they thought that dominants or submissives had more power. The statement ‘‘tops/dominants/sadists have most of the power within a scene’’ had a 19.2% agreement and ‘‘bottoms/submissives/masochists have most of the power within a scene’’ had a 20.7%) agreement (Hébert). I think that this research is pretty reliable. It may not be incredibly generalizable, and this kind of research is risky because it involves people who may not be fully honest on the surveys. But given that it is explicit in the terms used, and its reliable methods, this study is pretty strong.
People opposed to BDSM argue that because it fetishizes the use of power over someone who is powerless, it only allows patriarchal values to continue. Some radical feminists argue that this just enforces the typical gender roles, despite the fact that women can be the Dominants and men can be the Submissives. These groups argue that this shift does not carry over into any other realms of society, and is therefore not a safe, healthy, sexual practice (Lorde). Sheila Jeffreys, a professor at the University of Melbourne who has written several books about the history of politics in sexuality, states that “Traditional forms of male-supremacist sexuality based on dominance and submission and the exploitation and objectification of a slave class of women are being celebrated for their arousing and ‘transgressive’ possibilities” (Jeffreys). There is not a specific study that I found to support these claims, but this is a common argument in the side opposed to BDSM. While I agree that BDSM could be used to perpetuate certain gender stereotypes and the imbalance of power between genders, I do not think this side did a good job addressing the counterarguments. From what I found, there is not a lot of discussion about the possible effects of allowing gender roles to be switched within the BDSM community, and I think that this greatly weakens their arguments.
To be honest, this question makes me uncomfortable because I do not like trying to tell people what they should and should not do, especially in their private lives. Safety is necessary, of course. That’s the first concern in the question of whether or not BDSM practices are healthy. I think that BDSM practices have the potential to introduce some safety hazards and might be used to perpetuate abuse. There are certainly risks involved, but I believe that if it is done right, BDSM can be healthy. I think it can be healthy as long as it sticks closely to the criteria that the BDSM community sets for participants. It needs to be completely consensual, and there needs to be a full, respectful discussion between partners BEFORE any sexual activity occurs. There needs to be set guidelines about the limits of each person involved, as well as their likes and dislikes, and a clear discussion about safe words. If toys, bondage, whips, etc. are involved, both or all participants need to fully understand how to use these properly and how to clean them. As for whether or not it perpetuates male dominance over females, I think that the pro BDSM side had a stronger argument. I think that because BDSM allows the roles to be reversed, it does not NECESSARILY perpetuates these gender stereotypes, although it could if the participants in BDSM are not practicing it properly. I think that all of the concerns with the negative impacts of BDSM arise when people do not adhere to the strict guidelines that the BDSM community sets regarding safety, consent, respect, etc. I believe that as long as everyone involved is educated on BDSM practices and follows them, it is healthy.

Hébert, A. A. (2014). An examination of personality characteristics associated with BDSM orientations. Canadian Journal Of Human Sexuality, 23(2), 106-115.
Simula, B. (2010). A “Different Economy of Bodies and Pleasures”?: Gender and Sexuality in BDSM Interactions. Conference Papers — American Sociological Association, 50.
Lorde, Audre and Susan Leigh Star. 1982. “Interview with Audre Lorde.” Pp. 66-71 in Against Sadomasochism: A Radical Feminist Analysis, edited by R. R. Linden, D. Pagano, D. Russell, and S. L. Star. San Francisco: Frog in the Well Press.
Jeffreys, Sheila. (1996). How Orgasm Politics Has Hijacked the Women’s Movement. On The Issues Magazine

EXTERNAL SOURCES FOR FIFTY SHADES TRILOGY

Downing, L. (2013). Safewording! Kinkphobia and gender normativity in Fifty Shades of Grey. Psychology & Sexuality, 4(1), 92-102. doi:10.1080/19419899.2012.740067
http://blogs.findlaw.com/celebrity_justice/2012/07/50-shades-of-grey-contract-for-sex-wouldnt-hold-up-in-real-life.html
http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-sex/fifty-shades-of-grey-linked-to-sex-related-injuries/
https://radicalhubarchives.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/on-50-shades-of-grey-and-the-erotization-of-male-domination/#more-7639

LINKS TO ARTICLES ABOUT BDSM INJURIES/DEATHS
http://blogs.findlaw.com/celebrity_justice/2012/09/real-life-50-shades-of-grey-murder-details-emerge-in-ca-homicide.html

Twilight Article
http://io9.com/5413428/official-twilights-bella–edward-are-in-an-abusive-relationship

Before one can make a decision about this issue, there needs to be a basic understanding of how this is even possible. There are lots of old-wives tales about choosing the child’s sex. Some believe that certain positions can make a difference. Others also say that the timing of intercourse in relation to the female’s ovulation can affect it. There are even rumors that eating certain foods make you more likely to have either a boy or a girl. There is very little evidence to suggest that any of these popular theories are very reliable. However, there are a few options out there for parents who want to choose the baby’s sex.
The first is called PGD, or preimplantation genetic diagnosis, which gets its’ name from the original purpose for the procedure. For this procedure, women need to get hormone shots so doctors can retrieve eggs for fertilization in the laboratory. The lab waits a few days and then tests the embryo for the sex. Then they implant the embryo into the woman’s womb. Another option is to sort male and female sperm in a centrifuge, and this is then used with IVF. This procedure has been around since the 1970’s, although it is not as reliable as the next method, the MicroSort Technique (Gajilan).
The MicroSort Technique, where the male and female sperm are dyed and separated, and when used with IVF it has been shown to have an incredibly high success rate. The Genetics and IVF Institute released a statement on their website for MicroSort that states “in terms of the number of babies of the desired gender born, MicroSort has been 93% effective for girls and 82% effective for boys” (“Purity and Results”). This technique seems to be the most likely option for someone wanting a baby with a specific sex. So should parents be allowed to make this decision or not?
For the pro side, one argument is that it will prevent unwanted pregnancies and abortions. This may in turn prevent child neglect and abuse. In countries like China and India where society favors males, there is a serious problem with neglect or abandonment of female children. According to All Girls Allowed, a religious organization dedicated to ending discrimination and poor treatment of girls and women, Chinese girls are twice as likely as boys to die in their first year of life (“Infant Abandonment Statistics”). Policies like the one-child policy in China have also been linked to a rise in sexual violence, kidnapping and forced marriage, and prostitution. The argument here is that while allowing parents to choose the sex of the baby will increase the already unequal ratio of males to females, it will eventually be balanced out when people start to realize the importance of females- I could not find significant support for this claim, but I’ve seen this argument on several sources. Another argument is that this procedure will not cost taxpayers’ much because it is considered non-essential. The price of the procedure will be dictated by the market, and only couples who are very well off financially will be able to afford this procedure. This in turn minimizes the social effects of this allowing this procedure to be done, like the effect on the male-female ratio.
Those against letting the parents choose the baby’s sex argue that this process is immoral. Michael J. Sandel, a political philosopher at Harvard University, said “It runs the risk of turning procreation and parenting into an extension of the consumer society… Sex selection is one step down the road to designer children, in which parents would choose not only the sex of their child but also conceivably the height, hair color, eye color, and ultimately, perhaps, IQ, athletic prowess and musical ability. It’s troubling” (Stein). There is an outcry against these procedures because people see it as a form of eugenics. Some also argue against the claim that this process will not benefit societies with problems regarding sex and gender. They argue that it will contribute to gender discrimination.
To be honest, I feel very uncomfortable telling someone what they should be allowed to do when it comes to their bodies and their reproductive choices. I believe that as long as they aren’t somehow hurting someone else and if their choices don’t affect you, then you don’t really have the right to tell them what is right. However, I do not believe that parents should be allowed to choose the sex of their baby. I think that there needs to be more education about sex and contraception to reduce the number of abortions. I think that we need to look at the effects of one-child policies in countries. We need to re-examine ideas that tell us that males are somehow preferable to female children, and why several countries have seen serious social issues because of that idea, like sexual violence, kidnappings, forced marriage, prostitution, and infanticide. I think we also need to ask the question of why choosing a child’s sex is so important. I also don’t like the idea of parents trying to fulfill a wish list with their child. These problems surrounding sex and gender should be addressed independently and at the root of these problems, and I don’t believe that allowing parents to choose the sex of their baby will solve anything. In fact, I think it will lead to more. In cases where there is a one child policy, or in places where male children are preferred, I think that this process of choosing a child’s sex would allow the ratio between boys and girls to widen. I believe that this will just lead to higher rates of infanticide (because the procedures that allow for the parents to choose the sex are not always reliable), as well as kidnappings, forced marriage, prostitution, and sexual violence. I don’t believe in the claim that the pro side has that says it will eventually even out. To me, that seems doubtful, and a lot of people will suffer before it begins to improve. That is why I don’t think parents should be allowed to choose the sex of their child.

SOURCES:
Gajilan, Chris. “Gender Selection a Reality, but Is It Ethical?” CNN. Cable News Network, n.d. Web. 01 Mar. 2015.
“Purity and Results.” Results. Genetics and IVF Institute, n.d. Web. 01 Mar. 2015.
Stein, Rob. “A Boy for You, a Girl for Me: Technology Allows Choice.” Washington Post. The Washington Post, 14 Dec. 2004. Web. 01 Mar. 2015.
“Infant Abandonment Statistics.” Infant Abandonment Statistics. All Girls Allowed, n.d. Web. 01 Mar. 2015.
“Gendercide in India: Add Sugar and Spice.” The Economist. The Economist Newspaper, 09 Apr. 2011. Web. 01 Mar. 2015.