Numb. 50.
[213]
I Am told a very strange piece of News of this Review, lately, viz. That it does not please every body; I never set up for a Degree of Understanding above other People, but without Vanity, I hope I may say, I never Merited to be thought so much a Coxcomb, as to expect it should.
If I write Instructive Truth, I am sure to please Wise Men; and I have been always unconcern’d for the Opinion of the rest — But since Mankind are pleased to distinguish themselves so very plainly, I ought to let the World know who I do not write to please, as well as who I do.
And first, Those that will believe nothing but what they would have be True.
Secondly, Those who would have the Swede be fighting the Lord’s Battle in Poland, and aiming at Planting the Protestant Religion.
Thirdly, They that will not believe what they cannot Answer; that will not believe the Swedes are Acting Counter to the Interest of the Confederacy, and yet cannot Answer the Arguments brought to prove he is.
Fourthly, They that Cavil at the Argument for the sake of the Author.
These, and abundance such, these Papers are not design’d to please; and tho’ I readily Challenge them to Confute the Arguments brought, yet as their Opinion masters their Judgment, they become Agents to their own Absurdities, and are too obstinate to be Convinc’d by a much better Authority than mine.
ADVICE from the Scandal. CLUB.
THe Society have had so much Business upon their hands this Week, that they are forc’d to intrude upon the more Serious part of the Work, for room to give a Journal of their Affairs.
And first they had before them a Letter from some Drunken Society, whose Diligence in Vice they cannot but recommend, for a Pattern to other People in their Vertues —The Letter has so many good Morals in it, that the Society cannot but Print it, for the Instruction of Mankind.
’Tis Directed to the Youths of Scandal, at the Club held at Mr. Matthews’s, a Printer in Little-Britain.
[214]
Youths,
HEre are three Fellows of us that have sat up three Nights successively, and as by the sequel appears, neither of us yet Drunk, tho’ we have chang’d our Liquor, and used all means to bring our selves under that Glorious Appellation: Pray your Opinion, what secret Vertue is in the the Number 3, for by G— I have been Drunk with my Whore in one quarter of the time?
Aug. 12.
1704.
Yours, Gentlemen, &c.
The Society considered the Circumstances, pitied the Gentlemen, and Ordered the following Sentence to be struck out of Juvenal,
Nullus enim Magni sceleris labor
and Voted, that to be Refinedly Wicked, requires abundance of Diligence. As to the other Particulars, the Readers are referr’d to the Author of the late Excellent Paper, call’d Heraclitus Ridens.
The following Letter was sent us from another hand, from whom we have had a great many Ingenious things.
Gentlemen,
THE Moon being at the full, on Friday the 4th day of August, 1704. at 55 Minutes past eight in the Morning; Pray Gentlemen, is it possible, according to the Course of Nature, that an Eclipse of the Moon should be seen in Dublin in Ireland, on Monday the 31st. of July, 1704. Post-Boy, August 8.
The Society allow’d the Observation to be just, and caused it to be Noted in their Books, that the Author of the Post-Boy was no Almanack Maker.
The same Ingenious Gentleman sent the following Letter to the Society, Dated the 17th of August.
Gentlemen,
YEsterday’s London-Post tells us, That the French and Bavarians had 160 Squadrons, and the Confederates 52, so that they were Superior to the Confederates by 8. The Post-Boy of this day tells us, the French, &c. had 160 Squadrons, and the Confederates 152, so that they were Superiour by 80; Pray Gentlemen, which of these two Authors is right?
I am
Gentlemen,
Your humble Servant.
August 17. 1704.
The Society was not a little diverted with the Observation; and Ordered that the Post-Boy’s Arithmetick should be Noted to be just as good as his Astronomy in the Article before.
Another Letter was brought them from Jacob’s Coffee-House, and sign’d N.H. as follows;
Gentlemen,
WITH submission, is not the Author of the Review mistaken, when he says, that Augsburgh is in the Heart of Bavaria†? [†N˚48.] since it stands upon the River Lech, which parts Bavaria and the Circle of Swabia; or does he take all the Elector’s Conquests, to be part of Bavaria?
Gentlemen,
Your Servant,
N.H.
Jacob’s Coffee House,
Aug. 23. 1704.
The Author of the Review being call’d in, answered, by asking another Question, viz.
With submission, whether the Gentleman is not mistaken, when ’tis most certain there is not such a word in the Review he mentions, nor in any other.
The Society caus’d the Review N˚ 48. to be Examined, and finding the Gentleman was mistaken, they referr’d him to the following Story.
Upon a very obliging Notice sent to that purpose, Baron Hompesch, the Dutch General, made his Appearance by Proxy; the Society desired to know of the Person, whether that Gentleman was Author of a Letter, Publish’d in his Name, by almost all our News-Men, viz. English-Post, Flying-Post, Post-Boy, Daily Courant, &c.
The Gentlemen assured them, no, ’twas a meer Forgery; and, as he supposed, was form’d not by the News-Writers of London, but by their Brethren of the same Profession abroad — The Gentleman added, That he hop’d they had a better Opinion of his Master, the B— H—, than to think, that after the Duke of Marlborough had wrote both to the Queen and the States General, that he push’d 30 Squadrons into the Danube, and saw most of them Perish there, the Baron would tell the World they were but 12 or 13 — Also he desired them to believe, That the B— H—, who all the World own’d to be a good Soldier, was a better Geographer, than to tell the States General, that the City of Augsburgh was in the Heart of Bavaria, when all the World, that knows any thing of it, knows it is not in Bavaria at all, but stands on the outer edge of [215] Swabia next to it, as Southwark stands on the edge of Surry, next to Middlesex.
These things considered, the Letter was Voted Scandalous, Spurious, and Ridiculous; an insult to the Publick, and an affront both to the Duke of M— and the States General.
The Author of the Flying-Post was brought before the Society, and Charg’d with telling the World, that the Medway Man of War brought two French Privateers into Plymouth on Horseback.
The Gentleman was very wroth at the Society, and told them, there was no such thing in his Paper, but they abus’d him.
The Clerk insisted that it must be so, at which he read the Paper; Flying-Post, N˚ 1451. ‘Port Letters say, the Revenge and Medway have brought into Plymouth, two French Privateers that were never at Sea;’ the Clerk therefore insisted on it, that they must be brought in on Horseback, or by some other way of Land Carriage.
The Matter was plain, so the Author was set by, till the Post-Boy was call’d in to tell the same Story, with this Addition, They had never been at Sea till Sunday last, when they came from St. Malo’s with Wine.
The Society demanded of him, since they came out with Wine, whither they were Bound, for that Privateers don’t use to be Charg’d with Merchandises.
The Gentlemen were both satisfied, and the Society made this Remark; That now they are Convinc’d of the Necessity of a great Number of News-Writers, for that if three of them tell a Story, two of them tell it false — The Case here being plain, they have never been at Sea till last Sunday, when they came out with Nine more, instead of Wine. Post-Man, N˚…
The following Letter was laid before the Society, the Author desiring immediate redress, as under some very great Oppression.
Gentlemen,
YOUR generous Essays to detect Injurys and expose things Scandalous, have encourag’d me to apply my self to your Honourable Club for redress.
I am a single Man, by Religion a Jew, by Profession a shocolate Seller; I was lately in Ireland, where I lov’d and enjoy’d a Handsome Womab, another Man’s Wife indeed: But what’s that to you, or any body else— Her Husband has since divorc’d her, and she’s come to Engeland for my Protection, in want of Rigging and Necessaries; Cash being low with me, I apply’d to an old Rich Friend of mine, an Usuring, Stock-Jobbing Gentleman, who lives with his Wife and Children not a Mile from the Royal-Exchange; I told him the Case, he promised Assistance on condition to see her; but that cursed Interview has ruin’d me; for he has Cloath’d, Lodg’d, and now keeps her toppingly, and secur’d her with all her Charms to his own D—d leacherous self.
I think, Gentlemen, I am hardly us’d, and hope you will contribute what you can to my satisfaction, which will be in exposing the Treachery of the old Buttock-hunter: By which you’ll extreamly oblige.
August 24.
1704.
Gentlemen,
Your humble Servant,
Ruben Ben Bumaph
The Society Voted, That truly the Gentleman Jew had not a right sort of Treatment; for that if Justice were done, both he, the old Lecher, and the young Adultress, should be sent to Newgate, till the Law took further Care of them.
Some Gentlemen came before the Society and presented them with an Humble Petition, viz. That they would please to Answer them a Question, in Order to Decide a Parish Dispute among them.
The Society told them they did not Profess answering of Questions, as part of their Undertaking; but if they lik’d the Question, and there was no ill Design in it, they would endeavour to oblige them; and so desired them to propose it, which they did as follows.
Querie, Whether a Man expell’d the House of Commons for Br—ry, and expell’d a Bench of Justices for F—ry, was a Proper Person to be put in Commission of the Peace in the Parish of St. C—t D—s?
The Society had a serious Debate on this Matter, but finding there might be some Personal Reflection in it, they gave this for Answer.
1.As fit as that Parish as in another.
2.They could Answer no farther; but told the Gentlemen, that there is a New Society Erected, who may be heard of not far from a certain Tavern in Pater-Noster-Row, who have Undertaken to Answer Questions of this Nature, as by their Advertisement, Master-Mercury, N˚6. and if any body has a Mind to banter Governments, expose Admirals, Fleets, Armies, Justices, or any body else, there are your Men.
One Mr. Viscker, who wrote the Author a Letter from Will’s Coffee-House, and adds, he [216] impatiently expects an Answer, is desired to look back to the Review, N˚ 43. the two last Paragraphs, where he will find his Letter Answered a Month before it was wrote.
The Gentleman that sent the Society a Copy of a Letter from P. Ragocksi’s Army in Hungaria, is desired, if he can, to send the further Confirmation of that Matter, which he was pleased to Promise in his second Notice.
The Gentleman who sent the Author a Copy of Latin Verses on the late Victory at Hockstet, is desired, if he pleases, to double their Number; and if they are not inserted in the Review, he may chance to see them in good Company somewhere else.
The Gentleman who gave us Notice of an Error in the Print of a Latin Letter, sent the Society, viz. Habere potes fidem Mihi in Saxonia Nato, will find the Mistake to be his own, and that it is Printed, Habere potes fidem secure mihi, &c.
The Reader is desired to Correct the following Error in our last; Pag. 209. Col. 2. Line 2. after Rugen, read, and would be far from attacking the Isles of—
ADvertisements are taken in by J. Matthews in Pilkington-Court in Little-Britain.
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A True State of the Difference between Sir George Rook Kt. And William Colepeper Esq; together with an Account of the Tryal of Nathanael Denew, Mr. Robert Britton and Mr. Merriam, before the Right Honourable Sir John Holt, Kt. Lord Chief Justice of England, on an Indictment for the Designs and Attempts therein mentioned, against the Life of the said William Colepeper, on behalf of the said Sir George Rook. Sold by the Booksellers of London and Westminster.
THE Almirante of Castile’s Manifesto. Containing, I. The Reasons of his Withdrawing himself out of Spain. II. The Intrigues and Management of the Cardinal Portocarrero, and Don Manuel d’Arias, about the Will of King Charles the Second, to Advance the Duke d’Anjou to the Possession of that Crown. III. The Government of Cardinal Portocarrero, &c. after the King’s Death. IV. The Designs of France against Spain. V. The Manner of the Admiral’s making his Escape into Portugal. VI. And his Proceedings at Lisbon. Faithfully Translated from the Original Printed in Spanish at Lisbon, since the Arrival there of King Charles III. London, Printed, and sold by John Nutt, near Stationers-Hall. 1704.
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Lately publish’d,
THE Mask of Moderation pull’d off, the foul Face of Occasional Conformity, being an Answer to a late Poisonous Pamphlet, Entitled Moderation still a Virtue: Wherein the late Reasonings and Shuffling Arguments of that Author is plainly laid open and Confuted. price 1 s.
Cassandra, Numb. II. Is Publish’d. Price 1 s. 6 d.
Lately publish’d,
THE Monthly Journal, of the Affairs of Europe; Containing Divers Important and very Entertaining Matters, not Extant in other Accounts; beginning with the Month of July, 1704. To be continued Monthly. Printed for George Sawbridge in Little-Britain; and sold by John Nutt near Stationers-Hall.
MDCCIV.