Is Oral Sex Really Sex?
Oral sex is that topic that can be either very easily explained or way too complicated to even bring up. The big debate about whether oral sex is really sex has been mostly unanswered for a long while now. Two women have stated both their sides on the issue and in this issue of Taking Sides, the answer may have just been slightly answered.
Rhonda Chittenden, a sexuality educator, debates that oral sex is definitely sex. As Chittenden begins defending her side, she mentions that she was naive about what oral sex was when she was growing up in the early-80’s and that now a days most teens are mostly aware of what oral sex is but are lacking the knowledge of the actual definition and what it entails. Her definition for oral sex goes along with the definition of sexual penetration, “oral sex is the stimulation of a person’s genitals by another person’s mouth to create sexual pleasure and, usually orgasm for at least one of the partners. It’s that straightforward (71).” Chittenden believes that the definition of oral sex not being sex due to the fact that it is not penis-vagina intercourse is a narrow definition and invalidates the sexual practices of people who do not engage in penis-vagina intercourse. A point Chittenden makes multiple times is that contrary to popular belief, oral sex can lead to STIs even though it is less likely to happen when it is compared to penis-vagina intercourse. Chittenden stands strong on her side about oral sex actually being sex. She believes that the definition of just sex needs to be broadened to anything that can lead to STIs, pleasure, and intimacy.
Nora Gelperin, a sexuality trainer, debates that oral sex is not sex because the definition does not hold true to the behavior that young people understand. Gelperin’s main argument is that people are putting an adult definition on intimacy as if young people (who are the ones mostly partaking in it) understand it completely. She believes that educators must help teens clarify what they believe intimacy is and what it includes and whether or not they believe oral sex is sex. One of the main points in her argument is that it is mostly teens who are engaging in oral sex and this is mostly due to the fact that they don’t think it is actual sex. In their minds, they are still “virgins” if they want to be, because they haven’t engaged in coitus. A problem she also points out is that there is little to no scientific data to support the buzz about teens having more oral sex compared to previous years. For all we know, the same amount teens could have been engaging in oral sex for many years , but because of parental rights, there are restrictions on research. Teens also do not consider oral sex to be sex because it isn’t intimate. Due to this statement this is one of the arguments that she believes supports her side that oral sex isn’t sex.
It was hard for me to choose one definite side of who convinced me the most about this topic. Personally before I even read the issue, I was on the side that oral sex isn’t sex. The reason for that was because I believe that it is a sexual act but it is not actual sex because it does not lead to procreation. The moment I read “this narrow definition of sex invalidates the sexual practices of many people who, for whatever reasons, do not engage in penis-vagina intercourse,” Chittenden had me on her side. I never thought to consider people who engage in this sexual act because they may be LGBT, or ill, etc, and this is actual sex to them. This then again had me siding with Gelperin, mostly because the overall definition is vague. Sex is whatever definition you give it. If you believe oral sex is sex, then it is, if you don’t well then it isn’t. It all depends on the person/people. Due to never engaging in this act myself I will stand on the “no” side of the argument. My mind may change if my experience changes, it really all depends.