What Short Term Memory?
What Short Term Memory?
Once I had kids, I realized that my short-term memory would never be the same as it once was. Some call it baby brain, I call it overload. In my 20’s I was a Rockstar memorizer. This meant that I would go to work, be given an assignment and could complete it and all related tasks without ever having to write down a single thing. I would also get an idea while walking my dog and then be able to retain the thought and execute on it an entire week later. The trick was, I only had me to worry about back then. I don’t know if scientifically something changes in your body chemistry that makes it harder to remember things, like what you needed to add to the grocery list, once you have kids. I’m confident a poor memory may simply be information overload. You, as a working mom, are a computer hard drive trying to process a ton of information at once. Not only are you processing, you are planning and acting on it simultaneously.
“I can remember almost every lyric to every 90’s song, but I can’t remember why the ___I walked into the kitchen.” -unknown.
Here is what I learned about myself when I no longer had the bandwidth to retain small shorter details.
What I learned by forgetting small details.
1) Make a list—I have lists, and lists for lists. I learned that when I wrote something down, I no longer felt as responsible to retain the information. In a bizarre way, writing something down helped me to relax knowing that my to-do’s were waiting somewhere for me when I was ready for them.
2) Organizing—I learned that two things come from alphabetizing your spice rack. 1-people think you are crazy, maybe obsessive compulsive. 2- you never have to sift through a pile of bottles in the pantry to locate the oregano. Also, when you put it back it stays alphabetized. I guess unless you’re one of those cooks that uses 20 spices in one dish, LOL.
3) Rely on technology—someone created an app for groceries, someone offers online grocery delivery that retains your last grocery list under the “buy again” section. There are more robust organization tools like Tello, Monday.com, etc. If there is an app for it, use it. Your bank, your favorite store, the pharmacy. These tech tools allow you to automate a lot of your brain drain, and help you manage the tiny details. Refill my prescription, “click,” done.
4) Utilize a shared calendar – Along the same lines as the previous point, our smartphones and online tools allow us to have multi-user calendars. These coordinated calendars can keep the entire family organized and aware of who needs to be where and when.
5) Be a creature of habit—use the same machine at the gym that you know will be free at a certain time of day, park in the same spots, know your favorite drink, have your favorite pair of go to shoes, simplify and make it easy. Being predictable is not boring, it’s time efficient. Decide, and move on.
6) Automate your mornings – Get as much ready/prepared/set out the night before. Pre-pack lunches, lay out school and work clothes including shoes and accessories. Eliminate the chance any unexpected morning events make other necessary “have-tos” more complicated and stressful. Lay everything that needs to be loaded in the car out on the counter to reduce the chance something is forgotten.
7) Have a designated “reminder place” – Magnets on the fridge, a cork board, a dry erase board, an analog calendar next to the landline phone with a cord. Whatever it takes to have a dedicated place to list out the events of the week. Make note of after school activities, dinner plans, kid pick up and drop off responsibilities, etc. This is important because EVERYONE knows where to find the things that might change from day to day and week to week.
8) Utilize some space for “things that don’t belong here” – My mom and mother in law love to send things home with the kids including food and toys. Sometimes the food comes in Tupperware or other containers that need to be returned. Some toys really should stay at Grandma’s. Where do these things go until they get transferred back to where they came from? In our house, there is an area that is the holding place for things that need to make it elsewhere. This way, we don’t forget to return the items and they stay out of our way while they wait.
9) Don’t get frazzled – unexpected events are bound to pop up from time to time causing an otherwise normal task to become significantly more complicated and stressful. Dig deep and try to keep cool under pressure. Take a deep breath and focus on what needs to be done and in what order. Staying in control helps prevent things being forgotten. It’s ok to freak out, just do it later and get through the moment of chaos. I’ll never forget the day I was rushing into work to give a big presentation, and earlier that morning my daughter’s, who was 5 months old at that time, soiled diaper had leaked on my white sweater sleeve when I was carrying her out of the car. I made it to work that day with a spotted brown stinky white sweater. I luckily borrowed a coworker’s blazer for that 1-hour meeting. Talk about a reality check. LOL. I’ve carried a pair of back-up clothes in my car, ever since.
10) It’s gonna happen – No matter how hard we try, no matter how prepared we are, no matter how good the organization strategies are, SOMETHING WILL BE FORGOTTEN! It happens and as much as we want to believe we can stop it, we can’t. Don’t beat yourself up over it, because life goes on and there’s more work to be done. Roll with it.
Murphy’s Law
Murphy’s law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. This is so true. At any given moment things can go awry. I find that raising toddlers exposes you to all sorts of predicaments you never knew were possible. Bring that extra pair of cloths along, pack the snacks, prep the lunches, make that list…because, it’s one less thing to deal with when things go wrong, i.e. that spit up scenario, and remembering that you packed not only the change of clothes but the plastic bag to store the soiled clothes. You were that good, and you will thank yourself for the controlled chaos.
…But keep it in perspective…
I’ve given a lot of strategies to stay organized and prevent mishap. However, don’t plan yourself into oblivion either. By that, I mean don’t let the logistics of planning and preparing remove your attention form what’s most important…you being with your family. What have you achieved if you have a cooler with precisely placed apple slices and juice boxes perfectly positioned in the trunk of the car that arrives to the baseball game exactly on time if you are so worried about executing a flawless hand out to the little leaguers…if you miss your kid’s big game winning hit!?
Please don’t forget these strategies are meant to help you to spend more time doing the things that matter the most. The goal here is to provide you ways to make the most of the time you have. I want to give you a path to be able to enjoy the things that should be enjoyed! Plan forward, so there IS no looking back. Best of luck mamas, oh and invest in wine. I’m told that helps!
