This summer in Austin, I worked at a preschool. I worked with children age five months to five years (occasionally older with our “camp” students). I learned a lot about children and their interactions with adults. From a psychological perspective, it was interesting, but I didn’t fully comprehend just how interesting it was until I got to Angers and started working at a micro-creche (preschool) here.
I’ve taken a couple classes on child development and family interactions, and everything seemed common sense, I found myself constantly thinking “yep, that sounds about right.” The reason nothing ever surprised me was because we only ever discussed American family dynamics. I thought everywhere was pretty much the same because I’d never seen or been told about anything different. I know that sounds dumb, and egocentric, but it just never really crossed my mind that something that seemed as universal as children, could really be so different. I kept saying that I was disappointed to work at a creche because “babies are babies no matter where you go.” Man, I could not have been more wrong.
To give you little idea of what my experience was at the Austin preschool I’ll go through our typical day at school.
At 6am kids start getting dropped off. Each child comes with a list as long as your arm of care instructions, a carefully selected arsenal of snacks and a nap mat. Then when mom tries to leave the child cries and cries, it becomes an almost thirty minute endeavor with each child. Eventually we get the classroom settled and we take a group of almost thirty three year olds out the the playground where they are watched like hawks. We are careful to keep them from getting dirty, getting hurt and getting into fights. After thirty stressful minutes we go inside for lunch where we serve the kids a canned vegetable, a canned fruit and some source of protein and starch, like ham sandwiches or canned ravioli. Then we lay them down for a nap where they must keep on their shoes, all layers of clothing and we keep a light and (blaring) “soothing” music on. We expect them to sleep “stay on their cot” for three hours and then we do it all again in reverse: outside, snack and parents come to pick up by 7pm.
One of my students at the Austin preschool
I thought this is just how it is. This is what you have to do if you have a job and a child: leave them with strangers and fifty or more other children for up to thirteen hours a day. But, my first day at the micro-creche I saw that this isn’t how everyone balances work and kids.
My first day at the creche I got to see a few children get dropped off by their parents and even just this small action was so starkly different, that it shocked me. At the creche children no older than two waved bye to mom and dad around 9am and ran into a small play room where they were allowed to do as they pleased all morning they played, fell down and sometimes fought. No one freaked out! The adults would help them when they needed it and didn’t stalk their every action. I asked if I needed to be careful about allergies or food preference or anything and Anita, the owner, looked at me like I was crazy she exclaimed “They’re two, what food preferences could they have?” I couldn’t believe it! I felt relaxed and less on edge than I’ve ever felt caring for kids. I’ve always believed that kids should be allowed to fall down and figure out themselves rather than being told at every turn “that’s not lady-like,” or “Careful!” or “don’t get sand on your shoes.” I’m so excited to be apart of something that agrees with that!
After morning play we went outside and they rode tricycles around and came inside to a scratch-made shepard’s pie for lunch. Annita, who took two hours cooking this meal, told me that everyday they eat something new (compared to the canned lunch rotation back home). It was strange talking to her about the meals. I asked her if she used organic or local foods or how she decided what to cook for the kids…I rattled off a million questions and she just looked at me like I was crazy. She said she hadn’t really thought about it. She just cooked what she liked and it mostly includes meat and “legumes” for the main course and a fruit yogurt for dessert. “It just depends.” I was so confused by this callus, “yeah, of course they eat healthy” mentally. In Austin, hipster mothers love comparing notes on the latest and greatest vegan, gluten-free, local, organic chia seed granola thing. Here, it seems healthy is just a given, there’s no need to go out of you way to be health conscious.
My introduction on the door of the micro-creche on my first day
In the afternoon the kids sleep without shoes and with or without whatever they’d like. They sleep for however long they’d like to and then they free play again (with a story and song break) until mom and dad come to get them before 6pm.
I think the micro-creche is like a window into french family dynamics and society as a whole. It shows that the parents willing and able to balance family life and their work. It shows that they place importance on agency for their kids. They allow their kids to learn for themselves and think for themselves. They don’t force food preferences on their toddlers, they don’t worry about food fads.
This shocking peek into french home lives, helped me to explain many of the things that had been bothering me that are different from America. For example, everything here has very limited operating hours compared to American businesses. I think this is because the french demand family time; they refuse to work 24/7 for some big corporation for a living wage rather than spend time with their kids. They demand balance and we Americans should be jealous and learn to demand this too. We, as Americans are always trying to keep up with the Joneses, rather than stopping for a two hour lunch break to sip a glass of wine and enjoy each other’s company and the gentle breeze rustling the fall leaves.
The french kids seemed to be patient and very accepting of time away from mom and dad. Pamela Druckerman of the Wall Street Journal seems to agree with me about parenting here in France. She is an American living and raising her children in Paris and she has been studying the differences of french and american parenting and kids for several years now and she has come to find that french parents “educate” their kids rather than disciplining them; they teach them “the simple act of learning how to wait.” She also found that the french value teaching their children “to play by themselves. ‘The most important thing is that he learns to be happy by himself.’” This idea rang true with me. I found that the kids at my new creche seemed to be interested in who I was because of the novelty of a strange person but the other ladies seemed to be able get other work done as the kids sat and played relatively quietly together. The kids independently played with legos and books and when asked once they cleaned up their own toys. I was so impressed!
Then I found myself wondering why these kids were so different from their american counterparts. My first reaction was parenting differences, which, I still think plays a large part in this, but also I think the diet of these kids plays a huge role in these behavioral differences. Remember that home cooked meal that these kids got verses the canned food the american toddlers got? I think a lot of the issues americans face is because of our collective obsession, no, addiction to sugar.
We are always on the go, which created the super frankenstein that is fast food. The french are all about the slow paced, leisurely, quality meals. In fact in 2001 The French National Nutrition and Health Program was launched. In order to prevent a health problem in schools. They identified 2 main preventive strategies: 1) provide information and education to help people make healthy food and physical activity choices; and 2) improve the food and physical environment so that making healthy choices is easier. School regulations were created to improve the nutritional quality of meals served to school children, and vending machines were banned. Even french companies have committed to improving products to benefit consumers. In 2009 a Food Quality Observatory was created to monitor the nutrient quality of the food supply in France.
In America we have the FDA, which is a federal agency of the United States Department of Health and Human Services. The FDA is responsible for protecting and promoting public health through the regulation of basically everything, including pharmaceuticals, cosmetics, animal foods and drugs, medical devices and our food; it’s really a catch-all. This huge responsibility placed on one agency means the ethical responsibility is passed off to companies.
For example, the EU has banned more than 1,300 chemicals from cosmetic products because of links to cancer, birth defects and reproductive harm, and the US has only banned 11.
Now that I know there’s another way than the way that I’ve always known, I find myself wondering is this ‘American’ way really freedom or is it just ignorance? Is it just easier living like an american?
“American Preschool “chef” Interview.” Personal interview. July 2015.
Anita. “Micro-creche Anita Day One.” Personal interview. 7 Oct. 2015.
Branch, Chris. “Paris-Based Mother Explains Why French Children Are Well-Behaved.” The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 27 Jan. 2015. Web. 11 Oct. 2015.
Chauliac, Michel, and Serge Hercberg. “Changing the Food Environment: The French Experience.” Advances in Nutrition, An International Review Journal 3 (2012): n. pag. Advances.nutrition.org. July 2012. Web. 11 Oct. 2015.
Druckerman, Pamela. “Why French Parents Are Superior.” WSJ. Wall Street Journal, 4 Feb. 2012. Web. 11 Oct. 2015.
“S’il-Vous-Plait: Raising Your ‘Bebe’ The French Way.” NPR. NPR, n.d. Web. 11 Oct. 2015.
“School Lunch Standards in Europe.” (EUFIC). N.p., Aug. 2012. Web. 11 Oct. 2015.
Switalski, Erin. “Danger in the Drugstore: What Women Need to Know about Cosmetics.” The Guardian. N.p., 13 Mar. 2014. Web. 11 Oct. 2015.
“U.S. Food and Drug Administration.” Cosmetics. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Oct. 2015.
“What French Parents Do That Americans Don’t.” NPR. NPR, n.d. Web. 11 Oct. 2015.