Being creative does not come easy for me. I see others who seem to know exactly what they want to do for an art project or anything that requires creativity, and what they do seems brilliant and unique. Creativity is something so elusive that I feel I am clawing my way past a gray fog clouding my mind to achieve it.

At a young age, I attempted to figure out why I did the things I did or why I thought about things in a certain way. When I was unsuccessful in solving the mysteries of my own behaviors, I turned to others. I became a student of human behaviors. I thought that if I could figure out why others did what they did, then maybe I would understand myself better. This process is still continuing to this day. People continue to fascinate me. How they do things, why they do things, awaken my brain. Looking at art is one way of observing how the artist’s mind works and the general state of the artist’s mind at the time the work of art was created.

I access my creativity by interacting with the people around me. They inspire me to learn about new things and think about new ideas.  I attempt to surround myself with people who are very different from myself to aid in this quest. Helping others with their art and watching their creative process help my own creative process. I think this is what made me decide to be an art teacher. Not only does it allow me to watch other artists work, it also allows me to see inspiration, creativity, and thoughtful minds in action.

When I finally realized that I wanted to be an art teacher, I sensed it was something that was being hinted at my whole life. Listening to Amy Tan talk about the “hints” she received throughout her life made me think about the hints I had received throughout my life. Unfortunately, I was not as receptive to mine as she was to hers, but I eventually figured mine out. In high school I was given many opportunities to work with other students in the lower level art classes and was even able to work at a fine arts summer camp for kids offered by my high school. It was not until a few years after these experiences that I realized what they meant to me.

Creativity sometimes creates more questions in my brain than it does inspiration for creating amazing works of art. I still attempt to be creative in my work and life though, and while I am envious of those who can create with ease, I know what inspires my creativity. And sometimes just knowing what spurs creativity is half the battle.