Author: acarde17

Is This What Maturing Feels Like?

As I mind-numbingly watched the airport conveyor belt make another turn, I noticed most of the people from my flight were long gone, on their way to begin — or end — their adventure abroad. The conveyor belt was empty, save for an unfamiliar brown duffel bag that longingly awaited its owner. I felt a strong kinship with this insentient object. Woe is us, right? I walked around in circles until I could no longer bring myself to ignore the bitter truth: my suitcase had not arrived. It is one of, if not the biggest fear for any traveler, and it was happening to me, on my five week trip… on another continent. 

After dealing with all the painful, logistical details, I wished the brown duffel bag good luck and exited the Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport with only a small carry-on and what was on my person. The carry-on stored a handful of possessions: my laptop, some toiletries and medications, a pair of white Converse sneakers, and yoga pants. For the flight, I had worn a white tee, jeans, the clunkiest Dr. Marten boots imaginable, and a crossbody purse, which luckily contained all my important documents. I boarded a taxi to central Paris with the hopes that my things would arrive soon, because what else could I do? 

As the hours morphed into days, and the days into weeks, I lost all hope that my suitcase would be found, but I didn’t gain any bitterness in the process. It is very unpleasant to not have your belongings, especially while abroad — to put it frankly, it sucks. But realistically, there was nothing I could do but wait, and choosing to sulk would only further sully a trip I had eagerly awaited for months. In reality, there were issues far bigger than me that were – and still are – plaguing airports everywhere: staffing shortages, workers’ strikes, and more. My lost luggage was not a personal vendetta against me, no matter how much it felt like it, and I refused to let myself treat it as such. 

In the beginning, it was hard — I have to admit. I had the one outfit and extra pair of yoga pants, which, by the way, is a major sartorial faux pas in France (so those were out of the picture). The Dr. Martens boots were to only be worn for short periods of time, unless I wanted to add aching feet to my list of complaints. With the compensation money I was given, I purchased my essentials and went about the trip, but I struggled to feel comfortable. It was hard to replace the things I had carefully acquired over the years, and it was even harder to have to rummage to the bottom of a pile of white pants in order to find a pair in “my size.” The painful dressing room experience that followed was enough to have me reconsidering the yoga pants. 

As I walked through the streets of Paris, I gazed upon the uber-stylish French women, each more put together than the last, and then at myself, with my plain outfit and ratty sneakers. I couldn’t help but think I was misrepresenting myself. These are just temporary, I wanted to shout, I can look like you girls, too – I have better things coming! 

Prior to the trip, I imagined the version of myself I would present while roaming the 4th arrondissement, a famously trendy neighborhood. I meticulously planned what I would bring on the trip — essentially, my entire closet — and purchased whatever else I thought would be necessary: a vintage Missoni cardigan, a long, flowy dress, a romantic, black blouse. I would look like the best version of myself, or better yet — like a completely new person! But alas, Air France had different plans for me. 

My lost suitcase did not ruin my trip, nor did it serve as the catalyst for a reinvention of myself in Paris. Whether I found myself admiring Ernst Ludwig Kirchner’s Woman before the Mirror at the Centre Pompidou or warding off French men at seedy nightclubs, I was usually too engrossed in my environment to have any thoughts, vain or not, about my appearance and the way I was presenting myself to the world, or, much less, my luggage that was probably somewhere in the cold recesses of an airport. In truth, it is too exhausting to worry about things that are out of your control. I would’ve done a great disservice not only to the city but to myself had I constantly over-worried or moped, especially given the amount of life and excitement that surrounded me 24/7. It was easier to move forward and struggle to get another French waiter’s attention instead – trust me. 

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Towards the end of my trip, while sitting at a cafe, I looked down at my then-white, now-beige sneakers. They looked as though they had been to hell and back and, for good measure, gone two or three more times.  I did not complain or weep or brood about their condition. I didn’t even have time to —  our fleeting waiter was finally approaching the table. I studied the two empty glasses of Kir Royal before me and thought hard about my next decision.  “Another one, merci!” I told the waiter with a smile a half-second later.

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Andrea Cardenas is a rising senior majoring in Communication and minoring in Spanish. 

The Preservation of Humanity and Memory

Color images from the archive depicting landscapes and a group of people.

The digital age has brought forth an overabundance of information, all readily accessible with the touch of a few buttons. This has allowed for a generation that is less nescient and more connected than its predecessors, but all the same, the rate at which content is produced also means that things can become ephemeral. They get lost among a sea of content, buried by a never-ending stream of new information. As we inch towards the future, preservation becomes a neglected process, the motivation for knowing the past slowly losing priority to knowing the present and future. The role of preservation in the 21st century is no longer confined to documenting things that will one day fade away but rather ones that already have. 

The Albert-Kahn Museum and Gardens is the perfect example of the importance of conserving history, culture, and memory. The museum is not dedicated to the memory of the French philanthropist Albert Kahn, its namesake, so much as as it is to his ambitious, 20th-century project, The Archives of the Planet. The project is an expansive photographic catalog of culture from 1909 to 1931. This venture allowed the people of time to visually witness different aspects of humanity for the first time. The obscure, relatively unknown Kahn and his project are now themselves being conserved in the museum, creating a meta relationship between the two elements. Almost a century after his death, the significance of preservation is present in both his work and now legacy. 

A banker by trade, Albert Kahn was less focused on success than he was in promoting cultural awareness and connection. Kahn began working as a bank clerk at 16 and rose higher in the company over time. It was here where he amassed his fortune that he used to fund the project for 22 years. Wanting to preserve cultures he believed would soon face extinction, he sent out photographers to different regions of the world to capture photos and film. The project resulted in almost 75,000 images and 100 hours of film in total, all of which are available online and some on display in the museum. The images from the project are displayed on the walls of the indoor exhibitions, as are labels and plaques detailing the items and additional information.  The photos depict people and landscapes, and when looking at them in person, you can’t help but feel an odd and visceral connection. It is almost as if the image is observing you back. 

A handful of visitors walking around the garden.

As visitors walk through the museum, located in Boulogne-Billancourt, it is hard not to notice the quiet intimacy of the grounds. Patrons find themselves deeply immersed; the quietude is a sharp contrast to the din of noisy Parisian streets. Two locals, Roxanne Baratte and Jessica Baon, are outside exploring the elaborate garden, basking in the greenery that surrounds them. 

“The museum recently reopened after 5 years. It is so beautiful,” Baratte says, “ and it is a perfect place to find some peace.”

Both Baratte and Baon are surprised by my visit, given that I am a foreigner. The obscureness of the museum means that the majority of patrons are locals, or at least those with a foreknowledge of Kahn or the archive. Because of this, there is a lack of chaos and crowds that are typical of Paris museums, allowing for a richer and more intimate experience. It is easier to peruse the exhibitions, which are both indoors and outdoors, and gain a deep understanding of the archive. In contrast to other similar museums, the Albert-Kahn Museum and Gardens fully accomplishes what its namesake set out to do: educate the public and preserve memory.

Though unknown to most of the world, Albert Kahn paved the way for photojournalism and cultural and historical preservation. The Archives of the Planet conserved different cultures by photographing mundane, everyday moments that were equally captivating and relatable. Kahn and his archive sought to preserve dying or obscure cultures in the 1900s, and today, its own memory allows it to live on in a new, meaningful way. Among the excess and overflow of information today, it is worth taking the time to remember the past as it slowly slips away, following in Kahn’s footsteps and preventing the extinction of humanity as we know it. 

Andrea Cardenas is a rising senior majoring in Communication and minoring in Spanish. 

A History of Paris

The journey to the Marché aux Puces de Paris Saint-Ouen was long but highly rewarding. Located on the outskirts of Paris, visitors must navigate the maze-like streets to find the flea market – which boasts the title of being the largest in the world. The streets are lined with several stores, each filled with an assortment of treasures, as well as a massive collection of warehouses filled with priceless antiques and the like. 

Before descending upon the sprawling warehouses, there were a few stores to browse, and one, in particular, was hard to ignore. The window display featured mannequins with elaborate and eclectic ensembles: an 18th-century-like orange bodice dress, a hot pink tweed set, a sparkling silver dress. For anyone with even minimal knowledge of fashion, it was quickly apparent that these were rare, highly sought-after designer pieces, which made it impossible to not enter the store and explore further. Inside were racks of evenly-spaced vintage ​​prêt-à-porter, as well as tall display cases filled with gold jewelry and colorful handbags. The clothing ranged in prices from $300 to $5,000 or higher) and was subtly separated by color and season. A few standout couture pieces were displayed on mannequins, including a lustrous, purple Jean Paul Gaultier set from the late 90’s, so ridiculously expensive the price almost didn’t fit on the tiny tag. Many of these pieces were collectors’ items rather than wearable clothing, and obviously in none of our price ranges, but the store felt like a comprehensive exploration into the history of fashion, which made the visit a worthwhile experience.

Further into the market were the connected warehouses, only a select outdoor stores open, each with a niche selection of merchandise. From cartoon plastic face masks to wall mirrors, every single vendor had a unique collection to offer. A single door in the distance led into the inside of the warehouses, which mainly housed antique furniture. That Tuesday marked the beginning of a heatwave that would go on to hit Paris, and the air conditioning provided a reprieve from the stuffy heat. Thirsty, I immediately began a quest to find a drink, which led me down hallways filled with mid-century loveseats and 1970s art and wardrobes that looked straight out of a period film. Coca-cola finally in hand, I let myself become lost amongst the seemingly endless rows of vendors. Each item held a storied past, ones that began to form in my mind. A shag rug that once belonged to an eccentric couple, a tall, metallic lamp that resided in an artist’s studio, and so on. 

The time began to pass quickly as I strung together my elaborate stories, letting the items come to life with a rich history. Flea markets give used items a second chance, but the first one is what usually interests me the most. 

Andrea Cardenas is a rising senior majoring in Communication and minoring in Spanish. 

The Self-Described Introvert

Erin Badger, a recent St. Edward’s University graduate, is taking the skills learned in the classroom and use them in the streets of Paris. As a psychology major, Badger was able to learn everything about the study from theory to applications, but surprisingly, it also helped her learn a lot about herself. A self-described introvert, Badger believes that her knowledge of psychology has helped her become more introspective, and now that she finds herself studying abroad, she is trying to balance her introversion with more social engagement. We spoke about her goals for the trip and some of her stray thoughts on Parisians. The following conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

Q: First and foremost, why did you decide to study abroad?

A: I just graduated, so it was kind of my last chance. Also, just for “shits and giggles,” as Calista [Robledo] says. 

Q: Tell me about your time at St. Edwards and a little bit about your major. 

A: I started out as an education major, but I took one psychology class and that was enough to make me change my major. I was on the swim team for all four years but I lived at home junior year because of COVID. But the swim team was like a really big part of my life for the first two years of college. Like freshman year, my only friends were from the swim team, but they were all seniors and graduated. So that sophomore year, I had to make new friends. I’ve made a bunch of really close friendships –  I’ve made the best friends I’ve ever had through college. And I’m living with two of my friends that I met sophomore year.

As for psychology, I just think it’s interesting, and I know I want to work with kids. I took a social work class – which is what made me change my major from education to psychology – and I knew immediately that it was what I wanted to dedicate my life to. 

Q: Do you think you use what you learned about psychology in your personal life?

A: Yes, definitely. Psychology has made me learn a lot more about myself, which has helped me improve my relationships with people. I’ve always been really introverted, and I used to have really bad social anxiety. But I really forced myself to go through with studying abroad. I was really scared to go on this trip because I didn’t know anyone and didn’t want to be away for five weeks, but I’m really glad I did. I think it’s gonna help me navigate my social anxiety too, I guess.

Q: So, would you say your major has made you more hyper aware of your introversion? 

A: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I am definitely more reflective about my own thoughts and experiences in a way I wasn’t before. 

Q: Is that something you plan on working on here in Paris, and if so, are you trying to push yourself out of your comfort zone? 

A: I think that’s something I can’t really change about myself, so I have to just accept it. I really just want to learn to balance it this trip. Sometimes I’ll spend way too much time by myself, but other times, I’ll spend too much time with other people. So, yeah. I want to learn to be more balanced about that, but I really don’t mind doing stuff by myself. Everyone here seems very independent –  I could see myself living in Paris. 

Q: Is there anything else you hope to accomplish while in France? 

A: I really hope I can make really close friends; I hope we stay friends! I would also like to learn more French. I know some conversational French from high school, but I’d really love to pick up some more by the end of the trip. 

Q: A fun question: Have you noticed any major differences between Americans and the French?

A: When we went on the tour of the Seine, everyone on the boat was very American, and they were super confident but also really obnoxious and loud. And sometimes I think that’s a really good thing – to be really confident and own yourself  –  but they definitely stuck out very much compared to the French. Everyone here is much more reserved and to themselves.

Q: Finally, since you just graduated, what’s next for you after this?

A: I got a job as a behavioral therapist. So I’ll be working with kids with autism for at least a year, and then I want to go to grad school.

Andrea Cardenas is a rising senior majoring in Communication and minoring in Spanish.