Kessly Salinas is a rising senior at St. Edward’s University majoring in Global Studies. She is from Friona TX. which is in the “Panhandle,” or the top of the state. She is from Friona, a small tight knit community, and Kessly is close to her parents and 5 siblings. We dove into a conversation about what it was like to leave one community for another, and ultimately what it was like to end up here, in Paris, France.
Q: What was leaving home for college like?
A: It was interesting. I think because I’m in the CAMP Program (College Assistance Migrant Program) it wasn’t as hard because CAMP is also close knit. I know I had a community at St. Edward’s already.
It was really easy for me, but for my parents… it was so hard for them. I was the first person to actually leave– my older siblings went to community college– so they never had a kid leave the nest. For them they always told me: call us, are you ok? What’s going on?” And I’d tell them “Oh I’m ok! I’m just really busy.”
But at first it was a little hard. I had a little bit of homesickness, but CAMP kept me so busy I feel like I was able to overcome that really quickly.
Q: Did you ever feel guilty for leaving your family and your town behind?
A: Uh, kinda… yeah. A lot actually.
I don’t know sometimes I’d think about the closer university that’s about 40 miles– and that’s not much of a drive in the panhandle– that also has a CAMP program. For a while I felt guilty that I wanted to go to St. Ed’s.
Someone once told me, “You’re leaving because you don’t like it here.” It’s not that I don’t like it here, it’s that I don’t see myself here. I don’t see any opportunities for myself here, and I felt like I needed to go to another city to find those.
But it was pretty easy to get over the guilt once I got to St. Ed’s. I realized that you’re not always going to please everyone, and you should just focus on what makes you happy.
It took awhile, but it was worth it.
Q: Thinking about opportunities outside of Friona, what opportunities have you found in Austin these past three years?
A: There’s one right now I’m really excited about.
I’m a Johnson Turpin Scholar; I was able to get funding and internships, but it started over covid and I was still in Friona. But this upcoming fall, I’m going to have like an internship with a CAMP alum named Nancy Flores.
She a magazine/newspaper called Austin Vida, that covers the Hispanic community in Austin. For South by Southwest she highlighted a lot of the artists that were coming to Austin that had Hispanic or Latin roots. I’m excited to be working with her.
I don’t think I ever would have found this if it wasn’t for CAMP and the connections you get at St. Ed’s.
Another thing which is not really career based is folklorico dancing. Through dance I was able to connect with my roots again! I remember when I was little I would see the big skirts and girls dancing and I always wanted to do that! There was never a dance company close enough for me to do it. So when I got to St. Ed’s I decided to do it– with no dance experience. It’s been fulfilling connecting back to my roots through dance.
Q: The last time we talked, you mentioned that you never thought you’d be in Paris, or be able to study abroad. Why is that?
A: I never thought I would leave the nest because all of my older siblings stayed.
I remember the first day my parents dropped me off, I was told, “If you’re not going to stay, just leave with your parents.” That was such a shock to me because they told us that every year there was at least one student who would leave. They weren’t ready to move on.
So I looked at my parents, and I looked down and I thought, “I’m not gonna leave. Even though I feel like I should leave, I’m not going to.” I just remember trying not to cry in front of my parents because it was so hard for them. I knew if I cried it would make it worse. I was just holding in my tears, telling myself I was ok and that I was going to be ok and it was just the first day. I had to take it one day at a time because I did feel like I would want to go home.
It was also not ever having someone to look up to– I was the first one who did it. I guess that’s what motivated me. I didn’t want to be like my siblings. I didn’t want to stay in Friona forever; I was ready to move on. Even then, going to Austin, I remember freshman year I thought, “I’m going to study abroad no matter what.” It was never specifically Paris. I just wanted to go t any country other than Mexico– because I’ve been to Mexico plenty of times!
And then covid happened. And then I thought, “Am I not supposed to study abroad?” Then I was really scared that the war in Ukraine thing was gonna cancel our trip. I was so scared. So for a while I tried not to give my hopes up. I didn’t want to be disappointed.
Q: What’s it been like to leave home, Friona, and Austin/ St. Ed’s to study in Paris for the summer?
A: I feel like it hasn’t sunk in yet.
I’ve been here almost a week? I think tomorrow will be a week?
What I was really excited about was getting time off from work. I just thought, “Oh I don’t have to go to work tomorrow,” but really it’s, “Oh I don’t have to go to work tomorrow because I’m in Paris.” It’s definitely taking awhile to sink in, but little by little it will.
I remember two days after I got here I was like, “Oh my god! I’m in Paris! What is going on? How did I get here?”
But leaving was easy because I’ve always wanted to go to another country. It’s been fun. I guess it’s a little harder because I can’t just get in my car and drive home like I do at St. Ed’s. But I remind myself that I’m just a phone call away. I can call my family anytime I get homesick. I just felt excitement for the trip in general. It made it really easy for me to pack my bags and come.
Q: What are your hopes for these next four weeks?
A: I hope to get better at French. It was something I didn’t really think I would need as much as I do. I kinda thought, “Oh I’ll be ok, I know English like a lot of people know English!” But I find myself really wanting to learn French.
Q: How do you want to grow during this trip?
A: I think this trip will make me grow. I think it’s given me a feel of what it’s like to officially leave the nest. Because back at St. Ed’s, I was able to get in my car and drive home whenever I wanted, and now I’m not able to do that. In a way it’s making me more independent.
