Since finishing my presentations last week, I’ve been in some weird form of limbo. I’ve still got 3 essays to finish, but my classes are over. I’m waiting for my parents to visit in me in 8 days, and at the same time realizing that I now have less than 3 weeks left in Germany. Time is running fast and slow at the same time. I want to sleep but I also want to enjoy every last minute I have.
It’s hard to believe these 6 months are up. It’s hard to believe that I have lived in a foreign country for 6 months at this point, and at the same time even more difficult to believe that I will be returning to Texas soon. I’ve made new friends here, found new favorite foods and favorite places, and learned a lot more about the world.
Before we left for study abroad, the Office of International Education at St. Edward’s warned us that there would be a “Honeymoon Phase” for the first few weeks in our new
country. For a while, everything would be wonderful and new and exciting. Then, that excitement would wear off and we’d find things we didn’t like and start missing home. To be honest, I don’t know that I ever left the “Honeymoon Phase.” Maybe I did to some extent; Koblenz seems very familiar to me now, and very little is new to me anymore. But my excitement to be here hasn’t changed much, and just looking around at Germany I am constantly in awe at how beautiful and different it all is.
When I took the B2 test, I heard the other foreigners talking about whether or not they’d adjusted to life in Germany well. The general consensus was that they didn’t feel they belonged. Granted, I was the only one that wasn’t from Europe or countries close to Europe (they were from places like Russia, Romania, and Spain.) Still, although it’s almost impossible to shake that feeling of being a foreigner, I do feel like I could live here. I feel like a could belong. Maybe it’s on account of the fact that I always speak German to people I meet (eg. cashiers or waitstaff) but I’ve always felt very comfortable here, like there’s very little stigma about being a foreigner as long as you attempt to speak a little German.
But now I’m rambling. The point is: I’m coming home soon, but I don’t feel like I’m quite ready. Any homesickness I experienced is long gone, perhaps in anticipation that I will be home very soon, and I’m trying to process that it will probably be a very long time before I’m in Germany again.
Adjusting to life in a new country is difficult. What I didn’t anticipate being more difficult is adjusting to the idea that I’m going to leave that country. This could be a rough transition period, but I still have a lot to look forward to: showing my parents around and visiting Bavaria once more before I go!